Could someone check my son's homework?

Hi, he's been asked to write a paragraph as part of his topic, he has to describe what he does in his bedroom (he's 12). I used to be able to provide support for him but my memory doesn't stretch to all topics and especially not verb tenses and agreements! He is expected to use frequency phrases and at least 3 opinions.

Here's what he came up with:

Mon piece favori dans ma maison est ma chambre. C'est mon peiec favori parce que c'est ma place propre et c'est tres repondant. Quand je suis dans ma chambre je souvent joue ma xbox, d'habitude Fifa 12. Quelquefois j'aime se coucher sur le lit et lis de livre, mais mon activite favori est dors dans ma lit. Occasionnellemnet ma mere demander moi range ma chambre. Je deteste ranger ma chambre et faire du lit. Quand je trouve plus vieux, je vouloir louer une laveuse!

Thanks

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Permalink Reply by Erwan on October 15, 2011 at 7:24pm

La piece favorite dans ma maison est ma chambre. C'est ma pièce favorite parce que c'est un endroit à moi et c'est très repondant (I don't understand this word). Quand je suis dans ma chambre je joue souvent à ma xbox et en particulier à Fifa 12. Quelquefois j'aime me coucher sur le lit et lire des livres, mais mon activité favorite est de dormir dans mon lit. Occasionnellemnet ma mère me demande de ranger ma chambre. Je deteste ranger ma chambre et faire mon lit. Quand je serai plus vieux, je voudrais louer une laveuse! (Do you mean "employ a cleaninglady" :avoir une femme de ménage)

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Permalink Reply by Jackie Cann on October 15, 2011 at 9:10pm

Just a thought, Erwan - you wondered about 'repondant' - maybe he meant 'reposant' (relaxing)??

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Permalink Reply by Erwan on October 16, 2011 at 9:09am

It could indeed match. Thanks.

Here is the phrase : ... et je peux m'y reposer.

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Permalink Reply by Ral on October 16, 2011 at 10:42am

Erwan, I really appreciate your help, that's fantastic. I'm pleased to see he hasn't made too many mistakes! He intended to say 'relaxing' (thanks Jackie) and yes he means a cleaning lady-I wish him luck! A couple of things (only if you have time!) so that we both understand his mistakes. Could you explain 'un endroit a moi' does that mean my own space? Je serai plus vieux- I grow up/I get older? Why does he need to say 'La piece' at the beginning rather than 'ma'. I think he would like to say I will hire a cleaner so he can make a tense change-je voudrais is' I would like' isn't it? How could he say I will? Can you explain et je peux m'y reposer? He wants to say 'and it's very relaxing'

I just want to make sure that he understands the corrections.

Thanks

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Permalink Reply by Erwan on October 16, 2011 at 5:50pm

Un endroit à moi means, as you said, my own place

Quand je serai plus vieux : When I'll get older

Ma pièce favorite is better, you're right. I've changed it into la because of ma was already several times used but the meaning is the nor the same and ma is more relevant..

Je voudrais : I would like, you're right.

je peux m'y reposer means it's a place where i can rest.

It's very relaxing could be litteral translated to c'est très relaxant. But this is a bit weird in the context. That's why I've made a small change.

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Permalink Reply by Ral on October 16, 2011 at 5:16pm

Hi Erwan, he has come up with 'je vais employer une femme de menage' is this correct? Can anyone else check this he needs to complete this a.s.a.p

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Permalink Reply by Erwan on October 16, 2011 at 5:53pm

Je vais employer une femme de ménage means I'm going to hire a cleaner. The construction is right but there is a small tense issue. It's a near future and I think it's not what your son want to say.

It 's better to say : J’emploierai ...

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Permalink Reply by Ral on October 19, 2011 at 12:41pm

Erwan , thank you so much for clarifying those points, he has already handed his homework in but I'll get him to look at this later and note your comments, we can use these phrases now in future. It's extremely helpful having a forum like this to complement his learning in school.