Is this a 19th-century french idiom? (lengthy)

I apologise for posting such a lengthy query as my initial post, but I am puzzled by a section in a passage I am attempting to translate, utilizing my own (awful and inadequate) French. The passage is from the memoirs of Jacques-Pierre Brissot, writing in mai, 1782 - describing his own very favourable impressions of "La Freta", the house and gardens of Pierre Poivre, 18th-century spice smuggler, adventurer, and iconic French gardener (and from whom the English alliterative nursery rhyme "Peter Pepper picked a peck of pickled peppers" is derived).

The abysmal translation is all my own, and I am confused by (at least) the bolded bits, and the underlined sentence, in particular - since it doesn't jibe with Brissot's flattering sentiments expressed throughout the rest of the piece. Is it some French phrasing, or 'vieux french' idiom? I totally realize I am out of my French depth, here :) But I do hope to capture the sense of the whole thing and express it in naturalistic (i.e. - non-stilted) English. I am having trouble with other words, too - such as "vivaient". In any case, I will happily welcome any and all counsel, particularly the seemingly incongruent part - and thanks very, very much, in advance!

M. Poivre m'accueillit sans faste, sans cérémonie, sans ce luxe de politesse qui accable et refroidit; il ne cessa de m'entretenir avec intérêt pendant tout le temps que je demeurai près de lui; nous fîmes deux fois en causant le tour de son immense et magnifique jardin. Sa femme n'était point sur nos pas, et elle m'en parut plus aimable ; je n'aime point ces femmes qui ont l'air de s'intéresser si vite aux étrangers et qui les suivent partout. Les jeunes demoiselles faisaient des bouquets pour des personnes qui vivaient familièrement dans la maison ; elles ne songèrent point à nous en offrir, et j'en fus également enchanté; il ne faut point que des filles soient moins discrètes que leur mère, et d'ailleurs il n'est pas bon qu'elles prodiguent les fleurs au premier venu.

Au milieu de cette douce retraite, je croyais être transporté au sein de cet Élysée peint par Rousseau dans son Héloïse. Les habitans m'en paraissaient célestes. La bonhomie, la simplicité du maître, la douceur et l'affabilité de son épouse, la modestie, les agrémens de ces jeunes filles, tout m’attachait, me transportait ; il me semblait être au milieu d'une famille patriarcale, j'y aurais passé toute ma vie.

Mr. Poivre received me with no ostentation, without ceremony, with none of that overwhelming surfeit of chilly civility. He spoke to me with interest during the entire time I was in his company; and throughout two tours of the huge, magnificent gardens. His wife did not remain underfoot, though she seemed very friendly to me; I do not admire those women who take too quick an interest in strangers - only to lose it in the next instant. The young ladies, having arranged bouquets for the members of the family household, did not fail to offer one to us, and I was quite delighted. It is not without merit that the daughters are less discreet than their mother, though perhaps it is not always good to lavish flowers upon first meeting.

In the midst of such a sweet retreat, I might have believed myself transported into that Élysée painted by Rousseau in his “Heloise”. The inhabitants seemed that heavenly to me. The gentility, the simplicity of the master, the sweetness and affability of his wife, the modesty, the charms of the girls - all bound me, transported me - and it seemed that in the midst of this man’s family, I might have spent my entire life.

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Permalink Reply by Neil Coffey on September 27, 2011 at 6:18am

Be a little careful of the tenses: you seem to have a tendency to make the English a little more complex than the French suggests. So for example, "Les jeunes demoiselles faisaent des bouquets..." is simply describing the girls who "arranged" bouquets (i.e. habitually did so).

Then I think part of your confusion starts with a misinterpretation of "songèrent": what the text is saying is that the girls didn't "dream of offering me any flowers" '-- i.e. because I wasn't part of the family and this would have been too indiscreet. For the next bit it would be more natural to say something like "and I was glad of it". Then in the next bit, I'm not sure exactly where you get "not without merit" from, but what the French is saying is that girls "should not be" less discreet than their mother (maybe "should not act with any less discretion than" would sound better). I'm not sure your "though perhaps" works -- the idea is a bit simpler, something like "and indeed it is not always good/fitting to...".

There are just one or two other bits in the rest where I think you go a bit 'off tangent". For example, "qui les suivent partout" means something like "who follow them around everywhere" -- I'm not sure how you get to "only to lose it in the next instant", so it's a bit difficult to give much of a tip on how to avoid this error other than make sure you check, check, check every word I suppose!

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Permalink Reply by Julian Motheral on September 27, 2011 at 5:19pm

Thank you so much for the kind and helpful reply. I knew I was employing too much guess-work :) Indeed, I did make the first of several wrong turns at "songèrent", and I plan to rehash this and check the vocabulary I am still doubtful about. Thanks again for helping me make totally different - but now more perfect - sense of this passage.