Have I translated this correctly?

Si je pourrais choisir trois choses pour les visiteurs au Canada pour voir, je choisirais les Montagnes Rocheuses, les Chutes de Niagara, et l’aurore boréale. Le premier deux sont séparés par une grande distance; le dernier peut être vu de presque n'importe où dans Canada du nord, mais puisque c'est un phénomène naturel, le ce n'est pas toujours disponible. J'ai vu le premier deux, et j’attends avec impatience voyant le dernier.

This is what I want to say:

If I could choose three things for visitors to Canada to see, I’d select the Rocky Mountains, Niagara Falls, and the Northern Lights. The first two are separated by a large distance; the last can be seen anywhere in Northern Canada but since it’s a natural phenomenon, it’s not always available. I have seen the first two, and look forward to seeing the last.

Thanks for your help.

Regards,

0 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Neil Coffey on January 25, 2010 at 1:40am

Some tips:

- French doesn't have the construction for X to see; you need to turn the sentence round a little bit (translate e.g. "recommend three attractions to visitors of Canada")
- in careful writing, many speakers would avoid saying si je pourrais... and use pouvais instead (a bit like in careful writing in English, you'd probably avoid sayig "if I would be able to..."); in everyday, spontaneous speech, French people do sometimes say si je pourrais... (if you ask them, they think they don't, but they do...), however as I say, in careful writing, they would generally avoid it
- the phrase séparés par une grande distance is not wrong as such, but there's a French phrase éloigné de... meaning "far away from..." which you could maybe work in here
- French speakers don't generally say ~~le(s) premiers deux~~, but rather les deux premiers; there's kind of no way of predicting this-- different languages put them in different orders
- think about the agreement-- les deux premiers/premières, ce dernier vs cette dernière
- remember that names of countries generally need the article (le or la) in French, except when used with en ("in/to" used with generally feminine countries)
- in your very last sentence, remember that when you have two verbs together in French, the second one is generally an infinitive; look up attendre in your dictionary and see if you can find the correct construction to use to mean "to wait to do something"; you might also consider other (possibly more common) expressions in French, such as "I'm hoping to see ... very soon"

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Neil Coffey on January 25, 2010 at 1:45am

P.S. If Google is anything to go by, les Chutes du Niagara appears more common than les Chutes de Niagara.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Al Graham on January 25, 2010 at 5:06am

Thanks Neil. I've had another try (below). I understood your comment re "think about the agreement-- les deux premiers/premières, ce dernier vs cette dernière" to mean that since these words refer to previous nouns which are plural feminine, they should match that form--is that correct?

Si je pouvais recommander trois attractions aux visiteurs du Canada, je choisirais les Montagnes Rocheuses, les Chutes du Niagara, et l’aurore boréale. Le premier deux sont séparés par une grande distance; le dernier peut être vu de presque n'importe où dans Canada du nord, mais puisque c'est un phénomène naturel, le ce n'est pas toujours disponible. J'ai vu les deux premières, et j’espère bientôt voir cette dernière.

Regards,
Al

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Neil Coffey on January 25, 2010 at 5:51am

Have another look at the bits in bold (and if you change any genders-- hint hint-- remember that adjectives like vu will need to agree):

Si je pouvais recommander trois attractions aux visiteurs du Canada, je choisirais les Montagnes Rocheuses, les Chutes du Niagara, et l’aurore boréale. Le premier deux sont séparés par une grande distance; le dernier peut être vu de presque n'importe où dans Canada du nord, mais puisque c'est un phénomène naturel, le ce n'est pas toujours disponible. J'ai vu les deux premières, et j’espère bientôt voir cette dernière.

Also, in the last sentence, because les deux premières is now a bit separated from the first sentence, and you have a masculine noun (un phénomène) immediately before, I'd recommend inserting an explicit noun: J'ai vu les deux premières attractions.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Al Graham on January 25, 2010 at 7:16am

Hi Neil,

I've changed the genders in the second sentence and the adjectives (séparés/vu), but am not sure what the bolding of dans Canada du nord indicates. It's not that Canada requires an article in this phrase, is it? I've also deleted ce from the second-last sentence. Am I getting closer?

Si je pouvais recommander trois attractions aux visiteurs du Canada, je choisirais les Montagnes Rocheuses, les Chutes du Niagara, et l’aurore boréale. Les deux premières sont séparées par une grande distance; la dernière peut être vue de presque n'importe où dans Canada du nord, mais puisque c'est un phénomène naturel, le n'est pas toujours disponible. J'ai vu les deux premières attractions, et j’espère bientôt voir cette dernière.

Thanks,
Al

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Frank on January 25, 2010 at 10:35am

Hi Al,

It's almost perfect. Just a little blunder:
le n'est pas toujours disponible

"le" can hardly be a subject. Replace it with qui :

un phénomène naturel qui n'est pas toujours disponible.

"disponible" is okay, but it suggests something that different people can't see or use at the same time. One has to wait for it to become available.

In your case n'est pas toujours visible would be a better fit.